


HOME SUCK: THE TWILIGHT AU YOU’VE BEEN DREAMING OF

by ivemovedondude



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Crossover, F/F, Vampires, anyways this is just a little lesson from the circle of life or whatever, cant escape your past!, cant escape your past!!!!!, it was real. i joined a FORUM, this is just a giant joke, when i was an 11 year old internet troll i actually had a really massive anti twilight phase.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 03:28:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7491672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivemovedondude/pseuds/ivemovedondude
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rosella Laswan moves to a new town to leave her mom and live with bro…She goes to a new high school and connects with a childhood friend...jadecob….and a MYSTERIOUS TRANSFER STUDENT…...kullenanaya maryam …. WHO AVOIDS HER?? You wont believe what happens next. What happens next is that she’s actually a vampire.</p>
            </blockquote>





	HOME SUCK: THE TWILIGHT AU YOU’VE BEEN DREAMING OF

**Author's Note:**

> hey...its your homegirl quibbs back it again with the poly longfics. thanks for reading!!!

 

 

 

GG: wow….so you’re really moving back to live with your bro?

TT: Correct.

GG: like…..the man legally named Bro?

TT: Yes.

GG: across the whole country?????

TT: The entire damn country.

GG: JUST to spite your mom??????????? >:0?????

TT: You’re very good at repeating what I just told you, Jade.

GG: i know. i’m talented

GG: but rose, this is ridiculous!!! 

GG: your mother is not dating a new man to subtly tell you to leave the house and that is just the facts.

GG: put your passive aggression away for like three seconds!!! >:(

TT: I can’t, Jade. I was born and bred out of spites womb.

GG: gross

TT: But, despite the fact that you’re wrong, it will be nice to see you. I miss your gardens very much.

TT: As well as all of your dead, stuffed animal corpses that linger in the halls of your empty house. Like dead leaves on a tree branch.

GG: don’t be sweet when i’m yelling at you!!

TT: How can I not be when I value your friendship and look forward to spending time with you?

GG: stoppppppppppppp!!!!!!!!! >:(!!!

TT: Eat me.

 

Rose looks up from her phone, quickly scanning for her Dave and her Bro, a man legally named Bro, to finally pick her up from the fucking airport. He is in no way qualified to handle one child, let alone two childs, but you know what? Rose Lalonde doesn’t fucking care. She doesn’t give a single shit because there isn’t one fucking thing Rose wouldn’t do in the name of spite.

 

GG: whatever, whatever

GG: oh dude i guess since you’re switching schools, you’re gonna meet the mysterious weird transfer students that just came in!! :0

GG: they’re so weird and mysterious!!! gawk at them with me!

GG: or i guess...join them lol

TT: True. As a mysterious weird transfer student, I suppose we should get to know each other.

TT: Exchange gothic jewelery.

TT: Make each other emotional Christmas cards.

GG: i take it back

GG: dont touch them

 

Rose was just finishing typing out an entire paragraph length of a retort when suddenly, like appearing out of thin air, there they are. Bro and Dave. She watches them shudder in fear before finally locking eyes with her. They remember her. 

A few high fives and one ironic chest bump from Dave later, they’re ushered away into the car on the way to Rose’s new Texas home.

 

~~~~

 

Jade was the first to greet Rose when she got off the school bus. It was an unusually cloudy, windy day for Texas, and when Rose stepped off that bus, purple sneakers elegantly colliding with the cement, blonde hair wildly drifting in the breeze...Jade’s felt an unstoppably persistent nostalgic feeling rise in her. Her senses were immediately overloaded with familiarity the second Rose turned her small, black lipped smile to face her.

They had been keeping in touch through the internet for years, obviously, but there’s something about touching the skin and hearing the laugh of an old friend that was indescribably pleasant. It was like finding a little piece of home again, or something stupid like that.

She also pointed out how Jade started wearing hats with alarming frequency.

“Bluh bluh,” she definitely said, “I suppose i’ve just never seen you wear hats before.” Raising her stupid little blonde eyebrows at the top of Jade’s head with constant. Nonstop. Suspicion. Jade would roll her eyes and tug her hat down tighter, but she would never ever take it off.

“Oh, it’s been fine living here,” Rose laughs lightly, eyes dangerous and sardonic as they always were. She sits at the lunch table next to Jade poised with her head tilted, her elbows propping up her face just so. “It’s only been a day, but all the lights in our home were apparently smashed to ensure a low electricity bill.”

“Wow,” Jade squints, quietly lowering her sandwich back into her lunchbox. Quickly, Jade’s remembering all the reasons she moved at once, but Rose just waves them off with one dark hand like it was nothing.

“Also, there are several frozen raccoon heads in our dish washer” She winks. Jade knows she’s being light to assuage her worries but she was doing a fucking shit job. “That ones Dave’s fault. But like I said. Its fine.”

John and Jade roll their eyes from across the table like unsympathetic Beasts raised in a barn.

“I mean, don’t get me wrong,” John laughs into his juice box, a silly wave of his hand. “Everyone missed you a lot! But you didn’t have to move back. Don’t be surprised when Dave’s weird bird limbs find themselves in your toaster.” Jade knows from experience that no matter where you are as a friend of Dave’s, you will inevitably find his weird bird limbs in your toaster, but she doesn't mention that. She nods in agreement instead.

“Don't you lecture me,” Rose sighs back with a smile. Blond bangs fall delicately into her light eyes. “I don’t regret anything yet.”

And so Jade takes a second to really, really recognize her.  She’d grown softer in the corners of her eyes, developed a fuller waist. Her hair was longer and hung below her chin now. Even her face was different in small places, but every interaction with her was familiar, every snark and stabby word stab. It was almost like she never left and it was a REALLY good feeling. She pushes aside her shitty sandwich and smooshes her head against her arm in comfort.

“I’m gonna buy you new light bulbs,” Jade leans her head against Rose’s shoulder softly. “Ones he can’t smash. Expensive smash-proof light bulbs. I promise”

Out of the corner of her eyes, she can see Rose’s mouth quirk upward, downward, and then go still again. She looks like she’s about to say something back, something snarky, when suddenly her eyes fixate on something across the lunchroom and she goes deathly still.

In a snap, the entire mood stiffens and dramatically alters.

“Oh my,” Rose drops her gaze, crosses her legs curtly, and curls her black lips into a grin. “Who are _they._ ”

“Who??” John puts his juice box down from across the table. Jade stirs on Rose’s arm, passing a slow glance in the general direction Rose was staring.

 

Oh god, not THOSE guys.

“The weird hot people from across the lunchroom?” Jade asks cautiously, squishing her cheek into Roses arm as she talked.

Rose was fucking focused, eyes all steady and firm and grossly interested. “Yes, those ones.”

“Oh. Those are the Maryams. They’re sisters,” Jade sighs. Today, the Maryams were sitting isolated at their own table, well dressed and unapproachable as always. No matter what angle you looked at them, they always appeared  like they were either skipping class right now or that they broke up with you yesterday and took the cats with them. Jade shrugs. “They‘re the mysterious transfer students I told you about. You know, the pale gothic ones.”

“I’m pretty sure they like, eat babies or something,” John adds, truthfully, a solemn nod to his solemn head. Rose fakes a Me-ow at that and Jade instinctively scrunches her face backward.

“ANYWAY,” Jade starts again, voice high, her wild black hair bouncing with her. “The one on the left over there? That's Porrim Maryam, the slighty slutty teen heart throb with a heart of gold. She’s tall!”

“Aaand that’s her sister,” John finished for her, wiping his mouth from lunch food like the gentleman he was. “Kanaya Maryam, who’s our age, and once brought a chainsaw with her to class. She’s even taller!.”

“Oh, that’s the one,” Rose says suddenly, slowly, slapping her hand onto the table with a little _thud._ The lunch tray in front of her rattles a little bit and John and Jade instinctively exchange pained looks.

“Oh no,” John squeezes his eyes shut, resting his cheek tightly into his hand. “It’s happening again.”

“Already??? I mean it’s literally her first day back,” Jade mutters and squints and grips Rose’s sleeve, shaking it lightly. “Rose, god damn it, snap out of it you useless fucking lesbian!!”

“Give it a rest, dude. It’s too late,” John lets out a long, dramatic, school-lunch smelling breath. He locks blue eyes with her green ones and breathes out again, even more dramatically somehow. “She’s already got her gay little eyes set on her.”

Jade forms a tight frown and quickly whips her head around, only to see Rose smiling mischievously. Her eyes were like steel and fixated solely on Kanaya, gears visibly turning in her head, fingers tapping the sides of her cheeks like drums in rhythm,

Jade sighs. That was probably the worst person she could have chosen, possibly of all time.

~~~~

 

Rose turns into her anatomy classroom with a twist, confident, wide strides and her chin held upward just so.

“Sorry I was late,” she smiles sweetly when she reaches the teacher, hands pressed together. “It’s my first day. I got quite lost.”

She did not get lost. Not only did she used to actually attend this high school, she also hung quietly outside the door for exactly ten minutes before strutting in late on purpose. There are at least 15 people in this classroom who watched her do it.

“That’s cool,” the teacher swallows it up with a shrug for some reason, and with that, Rose’s gay plan was successfully sprung into motion. He points toward a small table. “Take a seat--there’s one next to Kanaya. She’s right over there.”

“Thanks,” She says with her fake ass smile and her fake ass eyes that actually read “ _Thanks, bu_ t _you were just a pawn in my game_.”  She crosses the room and delicately pulls out the chair next to her target, daintily flattening her skirt before sitting down. She had told Jade and Dave to put their book bags on the seat next to whatever Kanaya chose to ensure that she would sit there. It was a totally foolproof plan.

Jade said she was being a dumb idiot. Dave said it was complicated garbage nonsense meant for stupid assholes. John didn’t care, but he did notice that they were serving pizza rolls at Lunch tomorrow. They were all right.

But hey...It worked.

It looked like today was dissection day.The frog corpse was already out on the desk in front of Kanaya and tragically trapped inside a small metal tin. The ugly sharp smell of formaldehyde lingered in the air around it and firmly dominated the room. Romance was literally in the air.

Kanaya looked as well dressed and unapproachable as she had just the other day, with short styled hair, collared shirts, and a cool gaze. A book was propped out in front of her to enhance that “stay away from me” aura, but Rose was unphased. She had used that trick a thousand times.

“Hello there,” Rose starts, leaning over subtlety to catch the title of the book. She made a small mental note not to mention that she recognized exactly what brand of trashy romance literature Kanaya was engrossed in.

But Kanaya abruptly closes the book shut before Rose can strain her eyes at it anymore and clears her throat distinctly.

“Um. Hello,” Kanaya says back, curtly, half nervous and half wary, squinting at Rose batting her eyelashes as if she was concerned that she had something in her eyes. Rose is just noticing the adorable fangs that poked over her bottom lip and the intense yellow of her scleras. She’d never seen those traits before in a girl. Dying your eyeballs yellow must be a new fashion trend.

Rose grins and joins Kanaya in taking out the dissection tools. A quick peak behind her shoulder revealed that Jade and Dave were sitting directly behind them, and Rose sighs. This might be more difficult than she originally thought; but Rose Lalonde is absolutely no quitter when it comes to women. She grits her teeth.

“You’re Kanaya, yes?” She says slowly. “The perpetually standoffish new girl?”

“Yes. Also, that is definitely a thing people often call me I guess,” Kanaya shrugs and snaps on a pair of gloves. A flawless first move. 

Rose has her tongue clicked and poised to respond when suddenly the sound of abrupt giggling pierced her ears from behind her. She knew what was about to happen seconds before it happens, and when something papery smacks the back of her head, Rose is already rolling her eyes when she picks it up.

 

is that seriously how you’re flirting with her omfg

tell her eyes are pretty or something damn!!!

 

Rose hides her smile only by biting her lip. Who needed to text their friends when they had something to say when she could just as easily physically attack them with it? She hastily scribbles something back and chucks it with as much strength as her arms can handle, knocking Jade backward a little with only paper.

 

Why, Jade. I’m shocked that you taking a liking to my potential [paramore](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvnkAtWcKYg). Tell me: Are you the wingman tonight…? Or am I?

 

Another crinkled piece of paper smacks Rose’s head more violently this time. 

DONT PUSH ME

And then another hits her, but this time with Jades forever lab partner (Rose’s brother) coldly staring at it.

 

hey can you tell her that the back of her head is blocking the board

I have bad vision and you know this and are preying on it like some sick control freak

Maybe it’s time you finally got a pair of real glasses instead of hiding your perpetual squint behind shades?

fuck you

 

“Um,” Kanaya clears her throat after the 18th note pass. Kanaya was giving them weird looks by this point that Rose had completely failed to notice. Fuck, right, she’s still literally right there. Kanaya shiftily looks away and then back again. “Are you new?”

Rose stumbles to switch back into lady killer mode and leans back as cooly as she could manage. She noticed Kanaya spoke strangely, punctually, as if she was capitalising the first letter of every word she spoke in likeness to a pretentious brand of youtube comment. Except hotter.

“Yes,” Rose leans into her papers with elegance and super attractive smoothness. She absentmindedly notices Kanaya painted tiny green bats on her black nails today. Adorable. She glances up again, winking with both eyes. “I’m Rose. Fresh off the bus, as the expression goes.”

Kanaya calmly pokes the frog with sex appeal. “It’s ‘off the boat,’ actually, I am pretty sure.”

Oh wow. Rose feels herself literally sweating and Jade and Daves judgment burning into the back of her head, but smoothly pushes her next sentence out of her terrible mouth with worthless fake confidence. “Regardless, I’m very new. I think I would love to have someone show me around?”

“Oh.” Kanaya looks up. Her eyes are bright and clear, like Rose had never seen before, and she feels her composure steadily plummeting. She has no idea why this is happening. She never gets flustered. This entire situation is backfiring horribly and Kanaya blinks twice. “Me too. We should find someone to do that for us.”

Rose lays her forehead flat on the desk, catching the next paper ball flying toward her without even looking.

 

you fucking idiot!!!! shes new too!!!

honestly can you please choose a venue that isn’t in the middle of cutting open a frog maybe? I can handle one gross thing at a time but both is just too much

Rose scribbles hastily on the back of the note and shoves it back angrily.

 

Dave, you collect dead things. Fuck you. I can do this.

 

“Nice eyes,” Rose picks her head off of the table cooly. She feels Jade give her a thumbs up from behind her. She also hates herself.

Kanaya looks up with one eyebrow cocked. She looks at the frog, cold, unsympathetic, sad and also a corpse, and then back at Rose. “Its...dead.”

“What,” Rose sputters, and this battle is so trying and hopeless and she can’t believe it. No flirting adventure had ever gone this badly ever, ever before. “No, not the frog, wow.”

It’s terrible, it’s horrible, and Jade and Dave can’t even hold their fucking snort laughter. They are probably the worst wingmen in all of fucking time, but Rose flattens her skirt and clears her throat pointedly at them. “Not to discredit the frogs genetic heritage. I’m sure it can catch any frog it wants with those eyes.”

And then a lot of things happen. First, Kanaya breaks into a small smile and lets out a tiny, itty bitty laugh. She really does. Rose’s eyes widen because it sounds like a raspy, creaky set of bells and it’s absolutely fantastic for no reason.

Second, Rose is so fucking distracted by her small victory that she clumsily cuts her finger wielding the frog surgery scissors. Gross red liquid seeped out of her finger and lightly dripped onto the desk like faucet water. Attractively.

Third, directly after that, Kanaya let’s out a quiet but pronounced “Bluh!” and Rose watches her leap up, knock her chair back, and run directly out of the room.

The thousands of high school children eyes were glued to the door waiting for her to come back, but she never did. Rose’s lips part with her eyes wide, left bleeding, shocked, and with nothing but a dead frog to commiserate with her. It really wasn’t that great at commiserating, most likely because it was dead.

“Wow,” Jade whispers suddenly in the dead silence. “You really fucked that one up, somehow.”

Rose nods emptily.

 

~~~~

 

Kanaya is absent for a solid week after that.

Her sister, Porrim, was still visible in the hallways as always. She was still confidently joining different activist groups and wearing a new dramatic dress every day, but Kanaya’s cool and standoffish grace was erased from the atmosphere entirely. Which was to say the least, extremely jarring.

“Oh, Jade, dont you understand? My teen romance life is over,” Rose dramatically throws her hand against her forehead and falls back into Jades arms, slowly dying. “I’ll never love again, Jade. That hot girl I saw once in the lunchroom was my one and only.”

They were walking back to Roses car, and this was probably the 18th time today that they had discussed this, but Jade still plays along because she is a good person and a best friend. She laughs like a fucking fairy; All tinkles and wind chimey breaths.

“No she wasn’t, you big ass.” She pushes Rose daintily back onto her feet and spins her around. Such bright green eyes. “But hey! You might cheer up if you come to the beach with me, John, and Dave this weekend.” She wiggles her eyebrows dangerously in a way that made Rose smile. “It’s gonna be wild.”

“Stop ruining my sulking fits,” Rose bites back a grin, pushing Jades wild hair out of her eyes for her. “You’re ruining my image. Will you promise me it will be off the chain?”

“Rose, I have never fucked around with my beach parties. I can promise you no chains are invited!!!” Jade swears seriously, earning more than a smile from Rose. 

“Then I’ll be there.” Rose fake huffs.She jerks her head toward Jades motorcycle in one short motion and places her hand squarely on her hip. “Now go away. I have to drive dear Dave home and I never want to see you again.”

“That’s a dirty fucking lie.”

“I know,” Rose rolls her eyes. “But I suppose I will have to see you later anyway, alli-jade-tor.”

“I can’t believe that was a real thing you just said to me” Jade whispers like some kind of IDIOT who still experiences JOY. Rose is already embarrassed .“You really said that to me. I would never say something that stupid to you.”

“Now _that’s_ a dirty fucking lie.”

“I know,” Jade winks, climbing over her motorcycle and vrooming it to life. “AFTER A WHILE, CROSE-I-DILE.”

“Ugh, no, that doesn’t even work. I change my mind,” Rose shakes her head and scrunches her face into an ugly frown as if she had just eaten moldy cheese and three plates of ass. “I don't want to be associated with you anymore. Now scatter before people see us together.”

And with that, Jade gives her a wide grin and waves enthusiastically as she vrooms down the road, her black hair whipping wildly behind her.

And no joke, no fucking around, not even ONE minute after Rose turns back to her car and even gets as far as opening the damn door, something fucky happens.

Literally, she was offered maybe three entire seconds by herself to sigh and reflect gothically like she always does before suddenly, crushingly, that pang of fear that strikes you when you accidentally step in front of a car stings through her body.

Actually, what hits her first was a spray of water. And then the fear.

It was pure instinct. Rose whips her head arounds and there she is, out of the fucking blue, Kanaya Maryam with a god damn Tide to Go Instant Stain Remover stick in her hand with her fingers gripped tight around the marker. Rose only has a minute to take it all in before what happens next, happens. She notes that she’s wearing earrings shaped like small suns. She notes that her lips are green today. And she notices that she is being very dangerously dipped.

“Um, woah.” Rose looks down, dangling. This was probably the weirdest fucking thing that had ever happened to her and she had once walked in on Jade eating literal mud just for the thrill.

“I know this is kind of rude,” Kanaya says quickly and pulls the stick away once she finished scrubbing. “But it was for your own good,” She says this so unbelievably solemnly and so unbelievably straight-faced. She disappears. Rose drops to the floor.

The entire fiasco lasted exactly four and ½ seconds. Rose whips her head down, pressing frantically at the spot Kanaya had rubbed, fingers colliding with damp-but-clean- fabric. Her eyes widen in shock.

She hadn’t realized she had such a large, embarrassing stain on her shirt. Kanaya had just saved her fucking clothing.  And also her entire life.

“Dude,” Dave hovers over her, clutching his backpack strap in one hand. She must have not noticed him approaching in her shocked stupor. “What the fuck are you doing on the ground.”

“Dave,” Rose breathes. She stares at him, dumbfounded, shocked, thoroughly cleaned. “I'm having a moment, idiot"

~ ~ ~

 

That weekend, as promised, Rose walked the beach with her brother, Jade, and John in search of a good time and warm water despite the fact it was like…. March. The sand was cold, the water was cold, but nobody cared, so like, whatever.

So Rose stands, thighs and feet miserably sandy, helplessly watching Jade get buried by her brother and Dave trying to challenge the ocean to war. He would probably drown. Rose would probably let him.

“Dude i’m having the best time of my LIFE,” Jade shouted. She’s buried under like 8 feet of cold sand. The only part of her that was visible was her wide brim sunhat and her mountains of hair poking out of the ground like a radish. Rose liked the sunhat….it was a beige with a cute fake flower poking out of the brim. It was one of her better hats in this weird hat phase she was going through.

“I hope so,” John pats the mound of sand where her stomach was approximately and gives her a solemn nod. “Because i’m never digging you out of there.”

Jade’s eyes narrow and Rose can practically see her blood run cold. “I should have known better than to trust you.”

“But you didn’t,” John whispered. "You didn't."

Two seconds later, John is sprinting into the water and splashing Dave and leaving Jade in the dust.

“UGH,” Jade wriggles her head uselessly in likeness to a really sad worm. “YOU’RE A DICK, DUDE!!! YOU’RE ALL DICKS!!!

Rose stands there. She stands there with her tiny black swimsuit with “MCR” written on the boob and feels the wind blow lightly against her skin, because wow, they were all so objectively embarrassing to be around in their own special ways. Rose sucks in the air through her teeth, whistling, slowly circling the hole Jade was now dwelling in, and Jade winks.

“Hey babe,” Jade tilted her head ridiculously like one of Dave’s cool kid nods. Her sunhat covered half of her face in shade. “Looking good.”

Rose laughs at her again as hard as she could. She’s all light and teasing and silliness as she squatted down to be eye level--It was a windy day again, she notes. She watches Jade’s hat flap stupidly in the breeze and pretends to swoon. “Oooo, Jade, you know I can’t resist you when you’re buried under ten feet of sand.”

“I know.” Jade shrugs effortlessly and with as much effort as she can manage. She tilts her head to the side. “So, have you come to dig me out, or are you thinking about your gross girlfriend again.”

“The second thing.” Rose shrugs. Jade blows a raspberry at her very insensitively.

“Oh my god,” Jade rolls her eyes, her hair pooling over the sand comically. “Rose, at least dig me out of here before I die so I can smack the melodrama out of you!!!

“Oh, wow,” Rose tuts, eyes wide. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m feeling a little too melodramatic right now.” Rose leans backward, stretching out her words for days. “Like I might just blow away in the wind and find a stray rain cloud to cry under. Over there, where I can’t dig you out.”

“No please,” Jade squeaks pathetically. “I’m so sandy and so sad.”

Rose rolls her eyes, and with a hefty sigh, starts shuffling the sand back. So with a few tugs and a few kicks later, Jade is free and sprawled out on the beach in her swim trunks and bikini top. She has a six pack and is waving her middle fingers as high as she could toward John. She is completely ripped.

“Besides,” she breathes, wiping sand off her ass with her muscley arms like a real lady, “The Maryams are definitely vampires.”

“Oh really?” Rose leans forward, arms crossed. “I believe you’re going to have to elaborate.”

“I probably shouldn’t tell you. You’ll probably like her even more ‘cause you’re into freaky shit like that.” Jade clutched at her hat with one hand to keep it from blowing away in the wind and used the other hand to place stubbornly on her hip. “But come on!!! She drinks blood like, every day.”

“I thought it was a condition?” Rose guesses. She couldn’t tell if Jade was serious or not, and she guesses Jade could see it in her eyes because her expressions go exaggerated and wild.

“Rose, she drinks it RIGHT OUT of a wine glass, EVERY day.” Jade huffs, arms spread wide. “She doesn’t even hide it! I could literally see it with my two eyes!!! And when I was like “hey is that blood” she gulped all of it in one go and was like “no.””

“That sounds fair to me,” Rose hummed suspiciously. “It could have literally just been wine. It’s irresponsible but not impossible.”

“Rose, she has FANGS.” By now, the wind was really starting to pick up and Jade had to squint to avoid getting blinded by strong gusts. “I honestly don’t know how she gets away with it-”

And then a strong gust of wind straight up rips the hat off of Jade’s head and the two were launched into the most painful silence Rose had ever experienced.

 

 

A pair of what seemed like dog ears popped out of Jades head, her careless sun hat cover completely blown. It suddenly occurs to Rose that she hadn’t seen Jade without a hat on since she got back. Jade catches the hat before it could blow too far away and slowly pulls it back over her head without breaking eye contact.

Her eyes are wide and her mouth was tucked tight, seemingly praying like Rose didn’t just witness that. But Rose…..Definitely just witnessed that. Her face was entirely expressionless, but, um, there was no way Rose didn’t just look at that entire scene with both of her two eyes that she grew herself. They stare in total silence at each other for a good minute until Rose politely coughs.

“Jade, what are-”

“I’m a furry,” Jade cut in far too quickly. She removed her sunhat again and clutched it in her grubby little hands, circling the brim of it, holding it tightly against her rippling abs. She looked so frenzied and her ears were so large. Her eyes were so, so wide. “These ears are fake, and i’m a furry.”

“Oh,” Rose said, blinking. Her eyebrows knit together in confusion. “Okay?”

“I have to go,” Jade turns away. “I have to go to….my furry meeting. I gotta get out of here. I love you. Goodbye forever.”

Rose doesn’t have time to stop her before Jade frantically kisses her cheek and literally bolts into the trees, leaving Rose staring in shock. Even John and Dave stop flailing in the water to look over at her quizzically, but she’s already gone.

 

~~~~

 

Exactly three days later, as if the incident with Jade’s confession wasn’t weird enough, a couple other weird things happen. It was like the universe was trying to make a shitty soup and dumped literally every spice it ever owned into it and had never once heard of calming the fuck down. 

First of all, Jade Harley starts coming to school wearing even more hats. Hats taped on top of hats like some kind of animal. They were getting increasingly weird and bizarre in shape and pattern and Rose was deeply concerned. Also she found her furaffinity.

Second, Kanaya Maryam comes back to school again.

Rose sees her on her way back from the library--Busy on her phone, ambling slowly toward her with her eyebrows knit together and a tight frown on her lips, and she can hardly believe her damn eyes. 

“Kanaya?” Rose asked out loud, her voice feeling strangely loud in the empty halls that seemed to contort the echoes. And then Kanaya suddenly stopped walking, instinctively snapping her head up at the sound of her name with wide wide eyes. She looks at Rose for a good minute in silence.

And then quickly spun her head and bolted in the other direction.

“Kanaya- wait!” Rose shouted, her eyebrows narrowing angrily. Kanaya scuttled even faster on her tiny fearful feet.

But Rose was never, ever known for passively letting things slide.

So in a fit of impulsive anger she runs up to her and clutches Kanaya’s boney wrist like a steel trap in her hand. In a flash of Kanaya yelping and a metal door firmly being pushed open, she drags her into the girls bathroom taking large strides. The walls were a mintier green than she remembered and the tiles were even dirtier than when she was last here but she couldn’t focus on that now.

She pushes Kanaya very literally into a corner and makes her point very, very clear.

“Why are you avoiding me?” Rose says gently. Her voice is stern, but sweet, the acoustics of the empty bathroom amplified her sound.

“Excuse you.” Kanaya shifts her face to the left and casts her eyes to the right. She shifts her hands uneasily by her side. “I’m not.”

“That’s hard to believe,” Rose narrows her eyebrows. There was more bullshit in this bathroom than she could physically stand and she could feel her blood boiling.

Kanaya’s eyes are aggressively focused on a spec on the floor. Her body posture is slumped and nervous looking, lips tucked back. She clicks her tongue. “Have you ever thought that maybe I just don’t like you?”

“I’ve considered it. But I suppose I simply just have too much self confidence to believe it.” Rose frowns. This wasn’t exactly the ideal location for intimidation tactics. She could hear someone urinating in the stalls next to them and a shot of pity for them courses through her. She exhales slowly, a sound drowned out mostly by girl piss. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m just...confused. Why would you save me and then never speak to me?”

“What are you talking about?” Kanayas eyes flicker down again. She’s chewing her lip back with her teeny little fangs.

“You saved me the other day from my tragic stain embarrassment,” Rose said, crossing her arms in confusion. “Do you really not remember?”

“I don’t remember that,” Kanaya says sternly. “I never saved you. You had the Tide to Go Instant Stain Remover in your pocket the entire time.”

“What?” Rose steps back with a squint. “Kanaya, I’ve never even _heard_ of the  Tide to Go Instant Stain Remover before you--”

But Kanaya had already wriggled out of her hold and started sprinting out of the bathroom.

“KANAYA,” Rose takes down the hall after her. She’s hot on her heels, when suddenly, Kanaya takes a sharp left. And then immediately a sharp right, after realizing left was the wrong direction.

And then just when Rose thinks she has her, she exits the building entirely.  Through the window. With her entire body.

Rose sprints after her as fast as she could, breathing hard, hopping over the shards of broken glass Kanaya left behind her. She sticks the landing, but her sneakers slamming hard against the concrete right outside the school. She leaps to her feet and realized she could see Kanaya was just barely in the distance. She picks up her heels even faster.

“Please stop pursuing me,” Kanaya yells just a little bit ahead of her, dead-expressioned, eyebrows knit together, flats clicking against the cement. She was trying to lose her in the god damn woods behind the high school and sprinting up the grassy hill.

By the time Roses feet hit the soft soil of the backwoods, she can barely see Kanaya in her sights and was breathing too heavy to maintain posture. She did the only logical thing she could.

“ _I know what you are_ ,” she screams, pushing the rest of her oxygen out of her and stopping to rest on her knees. Kanaya stops in her tracks in the distance, just barely, turning to face her with wide eyes.

“Don’t say it,” Kanaya shouts back, this time takes small steps toward her as if pleading. “Don't say it out loud.”

Rose wipes the sweat from her brow, breathing in and out again. “You’re impossibly well dressed.”

“I know, but,” Kanaya takes a few more steps toward her. “I would prefer you not finish this train of thought.”

“You like to wear flannel around your waist,” Rose says lowly, dangerously. She’s standing taller now, light from between the tree leaves peaking through and patching her skin in shade.

This won a quite few more steps closer from Kanaya and Rose can already see her flustered expression.

“This is actually rather embarrassing?” Kanaya sputters. She was slmost close enough to touch now. Her expression squints over to Rose and she grimaces. “Like I would rather literally be anywhere but here.”

“And you run away from me every time I try to flirt with you.” Rose says the words like she’s spitting them. Her eyebrows lower, her feet firmly plant themselves in the dirt, and she is finally eye level with the girl she’s been chasing. Well. As eye-level as she could be with Kanayas height advantage. Her chest finally steadies and her breathing finally regulates.

“Lesbian,” Rose let’s the word drop out of her mouth and anchor itself into the soil. Kanaya’s expression fell into exhaustion.

“God damn it,” she says softly. She casts her gay eyes to the side and Rose takes another breath.

“And also a vampire.”

Kanaya rolls her eyes and crosses her arms. “I thought that one was at least more subtle. Did your furry friend girl tell you?” 

“Yes,” Rose stiffens. She looks at Kanaya strangely and suddenly clicked a thousand things into her head at once. The pale white skin. The blood pack juice boxes she drinks at lunch. The literal, actual fangs. Maybe the horns? She wasn’t sure what was up with those. Her blood runs cold. “But I was telling you that as a joke.”

“Oh….” Kanaya lets out a stiff laugh. She points her hand into a finger gun and keeps her expression steely. “Good one.”

Rose reaches out to touch her skin and Kanaya immediately turns in the other direction. Her fingertips brush her forearm. Her skin was cold, but like, not that cold. More like a freezy pop that sat in the refrigerator instead of the freezer.

“Stop running from me,” Rose parts her lips. A cloud moves slowly over the sun, and Kanayas stares into Rose as the woods got dark and dimlit. “Are you really a vampire?”

The woods became dark and low with the sun trapped behind the clouds. Trees and leaves seemed to become still and the most astonishing thing happened.

The the dim darkness, Kanaya’s skin started to glow. She was glowing brighter than most glow sticks at the dollar store, brighter than any cheaply purchased fluorescent light Rose had ever boughten at the dollar store, glowing bright like a faded firefly.

That is to say, pretty moderately bright, I guess.

“Um...” Kanaya shrugs with her chiseled shoulders. Wind blew her hair back sexily. “Duh.”

“Wow,” Rose breathes out slow. It was breathtaking, her eyes locked with Kanaya's as the cloud moved past the sun and the light finally returned. “You’re really white.”

Kanayas skin dimmed back to it’s usual papery color and she let out one of her infamous eye rolling sighs. “Yes, I’m aware of this.”

“So...” Rose raises an eyebrow slowly. “Was I also right about the lesbian thing?”

 

~~~

 

Time passes quickly, and before they know it, they were laying in the meadow of dead ass where-the-fuck meadow next to the school. Neither of them had gone back yet, just sitting in the shade of that shitty dead-grassed field talking about long held questions and long held answers. Rose couldn't believe how many clouds she could count in the sky.

“So you were actually avoiding me because you thought I knew you were gay?” Rose raised an eyebrow. Kanaya’s eyes were bright and embarrassed through long blade of dead grass. She was the prettiest corpse Rose had ever seen. “And here I thought you were just uninterested.”

Kanaya shrugs with a sigh, turning to face Rose slyly. “The bleeding was also kind of. A huge factor of avoidance. Also you are remarkably intimidating.”

“Awww,” Rose blinked and cooed. Kanaya let out a groan, but Rose kept going, all softness and sweetness to her tone. "That's cute. But you still haven't answered why you saved me after so much time ignoring me."

Kanaya chewed at her bottom lip anxiously, eyes drifting off and lost in the cotton candy clouds that circled them for a moment. At last, she shifts her body weight to face Rose entirely. 

"I don't know," she said. Rose blinked, raising an eyebrow, and Kanaya clutched at the grass. "I had planned on avoiding you forever, but..."

"Really, Kanaya? Forever?" Rose narrowed her eyes. "Because of a little flirting and some blood?"

“Anyway," Kanaya continued, shifting her face back toward the sky. "I suppose when I saw the stain on your shirt, I...stopped thinking. I just wanted your street cred to be safe. For you to be safe.” She paused for thought. “I hate that I just let something that cheesey actually exit my face cavity.”

“My hero,” Rose’s eyes squinted with her smile and she let her hair roll back into the dirt. “So, you’re a glowing vampire who gets flustered by girls and ketchup stains. Do you enjoy long walks on the beach, perhaps? Maybe the sunlight?”

“What? No,” Kanaya waved her off. “No, that definitely kills us.”

“Really?”

“Really kills us. Kill murders us to the ground.”

“Kanaya, you live in Texas,” Rose laughs. “It’s sunny right now.”

“We like to challenge ourselves,” Kanaya explained dryly, like each syllable was trapped in the desert begging for water and death.  “Whenever the sun comes out we just run really fast to our bus stops and hope we survive another day. Sunscreen kind of help, though.”

“Ah, I see. You’re joking...” Rose sighs, an unexpected disappointment striking through her. “That….actually would have been really funny.”

“It is a talent of mine.” Kanaya shrugs. “Sunlight is whatever.”

Rose chuckles lightly, thinking about how she literally jumped through a broken window to chase down this girl not even like, an hour ago. She shifts her body weight onto her side and looks up dreamily. “That’s good to hear. I’m rather fond of the sun.”

She reaches forward and  clutches at Kanaya’s hand boldly in the field of dead grass and leaves. She leans in all mysteriously, trying to come off as flirty in the best way and awkward teenager could. She pulls it off pretty suavely.  “I think i’m rather fond of you.”

Kanaya stares back at her, all wide yellow eyes and parted lips, and Rose wishes she could read her thoughts. At last, Kanaya opens her mouth. “School is over by now,” she says monotonously.

“What,” Rose knits her eyebrows together and reaches into her back pocket to frantically check the time. It couldn’t have been more than like, 20 minutes in this field. It couldn’t have been more than yeah actually it was like 5:45. It had been 2 hours.

Kanaya sighs and closes her eyes. “All of our stuff is probably locked in class.”

Rose collapses back on the field.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> stayed tuned for PART TWO, and also three, and also four
> 
> edit: just kidding! i started a webcomic and am now an adult in college. i will NEVER have time for this. hope you had fun!


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